Traveling with Big Boobs - A Guide
Got big boobs? Love to travel? Then this is for you
A guide to traveling with big boobs
Boobs. Aren’t they great? Wonderful bags of fun that can literally be used to keep another human alive. I love boobs, but I haven’t always loved mine. I didn’t really develop breasts, instead, I essentially woke up one day and there they were. Skipping the AA training bra stage, I went straight to a solid B cup, before quickly going up to a C. This growth continued and since the age of 18 I have sat at around a 30GG, which did not exactly facilitate my experience traveling with big boobs.
I spent many years cycling through a love/hate relationship with my breasts. Having a large chest brings attention, and can really change people’s perception of you. I’ve had people confess that because of the size of my boobs they thought I’d be dumb. As if the girls were somehow siphoning blood supply from my brain? Somewhere along the way I made peace with my gigantic jugs and learned to deal. That was until I decided to solo travel South East Asia.
Here are some of the realities of traveling this amazing region of the world as big boobed woman:
1. Picking bras to pack is like picking a favorite child
Every packing list I read suggested two bras would be fine. After all, you’d essentially give up on bras whilst long-term traveling, letting the girls hang fast and loose in whatever elephant print item of clothing you happened to be wearing that day. Well, when you’re endowed with boobs the size of mine, braless is not an option, but, being the stubborn Taurus I am, I chose to bring only two. Choosing which bras to take, however, was like Sophie’s choice. For a while, I just sat in front of them all hoping two would make themselves known. The wand chooses the wizard, and all that.
2. Packing those bras is even harder
Once I’d settled on bras I had to find where to in my backpack was best to keep the one I wasn’t traveling in (side note: about halfway through my two 7 hour flights, I was starting to think about embracing the #nobra life). I had presumed my handy compression bags would help me out here, but the bra was too powerful and totally negated the compressing power. I laughably tried to wedge it into a side pocket. Where I had previously had 3 portable chargers, 2 adaptors, An extension cable, 3 iPhone plugs and several wires, I managed to fit approximately half of 1 cup.
3. Boob sweat
Yeah, I’m talking about this, eased you in with some innocent packing chat and now we’re getting real deep into it. Oh boy, the amount of liquid that has seeped its way out of my cleavage is unreal. I’ve genuinely feared to end up in a Vietnamese/Cambodian hospital with dehydration just due to liquid loss from my boobs alone. Strolling around Angkor Wat I felt such a sudden expulsion of sweat from one of my tatas that I genuinely became concerned I had lactated.
4. Accidentally offending people
One thing I was conscious of when packing was ensuring I had enough conservative clothing to cover me appropriately when visiting temples/royal palaces etc. Well. clearly, I forgot about the fact that even high necked tops I wear instantly become slightly risqué just by virtue of having such large ‘assets’. Seriously, I could get cleavage in a turtleneck. I’ve lost track of the stares, dirty looks and, on one occasion, gasps, I have caused in such places, even when covered up. And it’s not just in temples either. Wandering around Hang Da market in Hanoi, a terrifying Vietnamese lady took it upon herself to aggressively zip my hoody all the way to cover me up. To add insult to injury she caught a bit of my double chin in the process. Embarrassing and painful.
About 4 years ago, after 10 years of noble service, my spine decided it was over supporting the vast amount of weight strapped to the front of it. I now deal constantly with tight traps, an aching back and have been known to get bruises from wearing a bra too long. Spending days exploring new places for hours on foot, and my nights in various uncomfortable hostel/hotel beds (seriously, why are the mattresses here so HARD?!) isn’t going to be kind to anyone’s back. When yours has already thrown in the towel years ago it’s practically torture.
Whilst it may sound like I’m complaining, all of these factors have actually just made for funny stories, rather than causing me any major distress. The negative impact of traveling here with big boobs are far Trout weighed by the positive experiences I have here every day. Compared to the cat calling, leers, and uninvited grabbing I experience back in the U.K., I’ll take A spot of excessive boob sweat any day!