Falling in Love While Abroad

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Falling in love while abroad

Falling in Love While Abroad

It’s safe to say that you never know when you’re going to find yourself falling in love with somebody. You can plan all your female travel and exploration but you can’t anticipate that. Plenty of women embark upon the world on their own and fall in love with the places they visit instead of another person. But when you meet someone you click with, grow feelings for, and suddenly don’t want to leave behind, you face some difficult decisions. Here is some advice, one female traveler to another.

According to some, "Caring is dangerous!"

I met many women during my travels who had boyfriends back home and were completely content with remaining monogamous. Others who had boyfriends “messed around” while they were abroad because it was exhilarating. When they went home, they stayed with their boyfriend and acted like nothing happened. Some girls only did hook-up’s and avoided anything serious at all costs. “It’s too dangerous,” a friend told me, about the Italian guy she’d been getting to know really well. “Caring is too dangerous.” If you’re like me, though, you won’t be able to stop yourself before you care too much.

It’s important to keep in mind what is realistic and what you really want. Sometimes they’re the same, but most often they’re not. What’s realistic is that making a relationship work with someone who lives in another country is challenging and usually fated not to last. What you want is to make it work because you love the person and you don’t see separation as the death of that love. As in all relationships, romantic or otherwise, reciprocity is a must. If you are willing to endure the hardship of being apart, the other person must be willing to do the exact same. If one of the other of you is not up for that struggle, then it won’t work.

We Lived in Different Countries for Six Months

I fell in love with someone while I was on my yearlong study-abroad in Paris, France. He was someone from my past who I didn’t expect to find years later over in Europe, but it happened. We lived in different countries and for six months made plans to travel and meet up in different places across the world to be together. There was a language barrier, miscommunication, and different expectations. I allowed myself to completely fall in love with him because I thought he was willing to do anything to be with me. Turns out, I misunderstood.

 We all want to be swept off our feet like this statue I found somewhere in Ireland. 

We all want to be swept off our feet like this statue I found somewhere in Ireland. 

Staying Together is Possible!

I know also of multiple women who were in my same study abroad program that fell in love with men while we were in France, and now, nearly three years later, are still together! One has French citizenship and is living in France full-time now, while the others make plans every few months to meet somewhere half-way to see their significant others. My point is that it is possible to make it work if you both have the patience and commitment that such physical distance apart will demand you to have.

If you are in love with someone you meet and you’re both serious about it, then have the necessary communications about how you’re going to make it work. You may have to be apart for a few months or even years, but that doesn’t deter real love, does it? If anything, it strengthens it. Once the situational issue is solved, you will have fought through the pain of scarcely seeing one another and will finally be able to be together all the time. You will have earned that.

If you are in love with someone who skirts the issue of what will happen when it’s time for you to leave, or who generally does not exhibit the same signs of love as you do, then you need to face the facts of what is happening. Maybe they’re just having a good time with you, and they don’t want it to end, but it does not love. They will be sad to see you go, but they’ll get over it quickly.

The "We´ll Stay Friends" Conversation

You’ll have the “we’ll stay friends” conversation that only digs the knife of unrequited love in even deeper. Be true to yourself. Know your self-worth. It is not worth it to uproot your own dreams and plans so you can commit yourself to someone who is so-so on the whole situation. There is somebody out there who will be willing to sew new dreams with you instead of demanding that you sacrifice yours for theirs.

Traveling incites so much joy and excitement in your heart; you are bound to meet many incredible people who will help you through the pain of heartbreak should you be going through it. It is better to cut the connection ties sooner rather than drag out hopeless plans of seeing each other again. Enjoy the time you have together. The thrill of romance in a foreign place!

Give Yourself to the Joy of These Moments That May Never Happen Again in Your Lifetime

Long after you have gotten over your love for that person, those happy memories live on in your mind. You don’t have perspective when you’re smack in the middle of it, but you will when you look back. You will understand why it didn’t work out, and you’ll still be grateful that you spent the time you did with that particular person.

Be open to experiencing love while you’re traveling. Even if you don’t ever see the person again, you will cherish the memories you had together in the future. And if you find that certain someone and you two commit to making it work across the oceans, then you are one of the very lucky few, and good for you! Allow yourself every possibility while traveling. It is a growing experience and you should take advantage of that in every way. If love finds you while you’re traveling, see what happens, because you truly never know what possibly could.

 My solo trip to Naples, Italy, was to heal myself after having my heart broken. I went even though I nearly canceled it, and it turned out to be my favorite solo-trip of all time.

My solo trip to Naples, Italy, was to heal myself after having my heart broken. I went even though I nearly canceled it, and it turned out to be my favorite solo-trip of all time.